Haifa Diaries pt. 2

July 9th, 2012


10:00 : Human First, Red Nose Second
14:00 : The Medical Clown in a Therapeutic Relationship: Meeting the Patient and Family
16:00 : Movement for Medical Clowns

"Today was a great day. In workshop I finally got the chance to get up in front of everyone, and get some feedback and praise for just being exactly myself. We learned a little step, partnered up, and our direction was to do nothing. Don't be a character, don't ham it up. My heart was in my throat, but to my delight, my energy was described later in exactly the ways that I try to embody Delilah. Sweet, delightful, girly, innocent. I can't wait to get into costume, I think Delilah will really just feed off of the love from everyone. 


For a few short moments in movement class, I began to forget to worry about what other people were thinking, and just really got into exploring my body and creating a story. I don't really know what the story was, a sad little puppet in a box trying to get out, perhaps. Discovering her own hands, arms, legs, and marveling at the moment of a single digit. The object of the exercise was to pick body parts, gently letting them guide the rest of the body up, and then back down, but alway vertically. I picked a corner and really just tried to stay in my own headspace. 


I am happy. Bruises are starting to appear on my pointy limbs. This is the best decision I have made, that feels right deep in my heart. I always had a feeling and high hopes that 23 would be a great year, and being able to come here and do this has made Germany so much more important to me. Panic Circus will just be the sprinkles on this Israel Icing that is on the Germany Cake!"


Real Time thoughts:

Our first week was the best week of the seminar. I think it had a lot to do with the extended workshops that lasted a few days, and it gave us a chance to really form personal relationships with the instructors, as well as take it slow in the classes and really spend time on the details -- because it is all about the details, friends.

The first thing I really learned about "medical clowning" specifically is that it exists all over the world, and it is not a full time job. Every time a participant talked about their schedule, 4 or 5 days a week was always pushing it. I suppose it makes sense when you think about it, because you are really exerting an incredible amount of energy in a small period of time, as well as absorbing all the emotional baggage of any person you might happen to interact with in the hospital.

Medical Clowning is a job full of paradoxes. It is very serious work... but we strive to make a place like the hospital a little less serious. We may play as if we are against the rules and regulations of the hospital staff, and yet we secretly have the same goals that they do. Above everything else, a strong and trusting relationship between the hospital staff and the clown is key. What the first class taught me  is that we are good enough, delightful enough, as simply ourselves. Making that connection with people and that bond that can blossom into play or even just a release of tension, is something you can do without a costume, without props, with nothing but your own person, and an openness in the heart. That is really the beginning of Medical Clowning, and it was surprisingly difficult because hand in hand with that openness is the vulnerability of rejection.

Haifa Diaries pt. 1

My next few posts are going to be the entries I wrote while in Israel. Starting 20 days ago on July 7th, my second night. 

July 7, 2012

The fridge here is the loudest fridge I have ever encountered in a home. It drowns out the silence of the empty flat, but replaces it with a feeling of melancholy and loneliness. This apartment is totally empty but for the sound of that fridge humming away, so loud that bumble bees might mistake it for a hive. At this moment, the fridge mirrors my own heart, humming, working, but empty on the inside. I guess I am one of those worriers when it comes to travel. Starting the 24 hours before I need to be at the airport till the moment I arrive at my destination and am able to drop my bags and take that first deep breath, I worry. And I think it gets worse when I travel alone. Especially now, traveling to a place I have never been and know nothing about, to do something I have never done with people I have never met. Can you tell I am a little melancholy tonight? 

First impressions of Israel. It is warm, and every single house apartment and building is white, or at least used to be white. The poverty and the wealth are side by side... On one side of the street is a swanky restaurant and immediately on the other is a a food stand reminiscent of Mexican food stands... Styrofoam cups and paper plates.  And it is hilly. Oh my is it ever hilly. When traveling through the city on a shared taxi, it was almost like a roller coaster ride, because besides being hilly, Haifa seems to have very few straight streets. The University where the seminar will be taking place is on a mountain looking over the city and the port, so I am expecting some great views. 

But the people are very nice, all of them. It has really been a comfort. Although men seem to think that one conversation with you gives them the right to ask for your phone number. But I guess it helps when you have no phone, haha! (Although it is unfortunate that I am the only person with my name... And finding me on Facebook is easy as pie). Last night after dropping my things off, I wandered over to the little restaurant across the street from the swanky one... after a day of travel I didn't feel particularly "swanky", and I got this yummy flaky pastry filled with potatoes and mushrooms, with spicy pickles and an egg on the side. There was one kid behind the counter, and after I finished my food we chatted a bit since I was feeling lonely. I told him I was there for two weeks for a medical clowning seminar. He told me he was leaving for the army in two weeks. 

Even though there is no Internet at my apartment, I found some at the coffee shop by my flat, so I am content. I found salt, and I won't starve, so that is good too. Today was really lovely, My semi-host, Shir, brought me and another seminar clown to see the Bahai gardens, the most famous landmark and pride of Haifa, rightfully so. Holy gardens that travel down a steep slope with a beautiful temple in the middle, it's lawns stick out in a sharp contrast to the metropolitan areas around it. Then she brought us to her parents home for a traditional Shabbat lunch, wheat and beans with date honey, potatoes and sweet potatoes with date honey, so yummy! Also rice, veggies, and fresh cold plums, grapes and nectarines for dessert, so yum! Her 17 year old sister, Mai, was sweet, opinionated and talkative. Also going to the army soon, in 2 months. But it was really wonderful to be around a family and to have a family meal, that hasn't happened in a long time for me. 

Tomorrow the seminar starts, and I meet my roommate. eehsk!! Also, at some point, I will tell you all what this seminar is actually all about!